Beauty Amidst the Rubble

I went to bed last night thinking, “Enough universe. I need a little break. I really don’t think I have the strength to take any more right now.” My health, close relationships, work, and finances are all in various states of crumbling or precariously being reassembled. When it rains, it pours. I know we all go through periods of time when nothing seems to be right. Foundations we thought were strong suddenly reveal major cracks that can no longer support what was. Things we took for granted suddenly start to slip away like a balloon floating farther and farther away into the sky. We aren’t sure where to start, what to try to fix first, how, or even if it can be fixed. Everything seems out of balance, internally and externally. It is time to ask the universe to cease and desist. (If only it were that easy.)
This morning, despite it all, I fully embraced that I had been given a new day and a fresh start. And while I doubt the universe will agree to my cease and desist request, I have been given some really beautiful gifts today. As I guided one of my private yoga clients through his practice this morning I noticed how much stronger and more flexible he has become. During a balancing sequence that is usually very challenging for him, he nailed it. His focus, his breath, his alignment were all spot on. There are few things that bring me more joy and inspiration than watching a student grow and achieve things that once were not possible on the mat. As I was walking to teach my first class of the day I saw one of my former preschool students. As I passed his face lit up and he waved at me yelling, “Hello!” I did not spend a lot of time in this little boy’s classroom and it was a year and half ago that I worked with him. His first months in preschool were hard and I spent a lot of time holding him, wiping snot and tears off both of us, and reading him his favorite story as he navigated the waters of starting school. To have him recognize me, in a place outside of school, after such a long period of time melted my heart. To know that our time together left an impression on him was truly priceless. This afternoon I started teaching a new permanent class in my schedule. I was nervous and there was only one familiar face amongst the students. At the end of class I had really great discussions with the students and felt a greater sense of connection to the community at that studio.
So, while none of my problems have magically been solved and everything still feels hard and messy there are some true gems I now have to remind me that things will not always be this way. I might feel messy and broken right now, but I have been given the honor connecting with people of all different ages through teaching yoga. I have witnessed the beauty of growth through perseverance and a good attitude. I have been reminded that we never know when or how we will impact someone’s life – every encounter must be approached with compassion and love. I have been reminded that when we stay open, no matter how hard or painful, no matter how broken we may feel, the possibilities for new connections will always be there, waiting for us. Thank you, universe…I’m not retracting my cease and desist request though.

 

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About DjunaPassman

I practice and teach yoga. I attempt to carry what I learn on my mat and through my students into the real world. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am grumpy and less than kind. I started life as a dancer, moved on to choreographing, worked as a dance/movement therapist, then realized the wonders of a regular yoga practice. I am a realist - whether the glass is half full or half empty you are bound to spill its contents if you are wearing white (this is why I wear black so often). I am not an expert on yoga, life, or anything else for that matter. I do my best to keep my mind and my heart open every day (some days are better than others).
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